The following is an example that happens to me almost daily and it drives me crazy:
I walk into my general education class, maybe its a humanities class or something similar. I have my headphones in and i choose a seat in the corner or on the edge of an isle so that only one person can sit next to me. I be sure to check that no one is in the seat next to the one that I'm eyeing. I find the seat, I sit down, put my backpack under my chair (I put NOTHING in the empty seat next to me) and pull out my phone and listen to my music while surfing Facebook until class begins. Here's where it goes wrong.
Some random person comes up to me and they stop next to my chair. I can see legs out of my peripherals from staring at my phone. I took over and I see lips moving, but I don't hear anything. I awkwardly take out an earbud and ask what they said, and the answer is always the same, "Are you saving that seat for anyone?"
Obviously this seat next to me is open. I am not saving it for anyone, that should be clear because there is no indication that it is taken or being saved. This bugs me a little more than it should, probably. But why can't people just see an open seat, and then go and sit in it if it's clearly available? Drives me nuts. Then, after the interaction and I let the intruder to my personal space sit next to me, I put my headphones back in and numbingly stare at my phone again.
Then the next part happens, they try to make small talk with me. I've already put my earbud back in so we have to go through the whole awkward part of pulling out my headphones again and ask what they say. Then the conversation is always the same: what's your name, where are you from, what's your major, etc. Isn't it clear that I don't want to talk to you? If having my headphones in and not engaging you in any way wasn't enough, then weren't my short answers to your questions enough? I hate when I have to go through that awkwardness. The worst is when people do that when you're walking between classes and then there's no escape because they will follow you until you either get to your destination or you die.
Maybe I'm just a cynical old man. But I have my friends, I am graduating in a couple months, I don't need to make more. I understand where people are coming from, they're just trying to be friendly, and that's okay. But please, look at the social cues. If I want to talk to you, I will be fully engaged. If I don't, I'm going to sit there with my headphones in and my eyes three inches from my phone.
I'm a nice person I promise.
I sorta loved this post. :) Thanks for your thoughts. Keep up the good work.
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